you've been really great friends for 3 years. you start to date, then he tells you he had sex with another girl. drunk sex, does that validate it? =( i dont know what to do. what would you do?
You didn't say, so i'll ask: Do you mean he had sex with someone else before you started dating? Or were you dating when it happened? If it happened before you were dating, then why would it matter?
If you and he were already dating when it happened, then consider this: It was he that chose to drink so much that he passed the point of being able to control himself, which directly resulted in him sleeping with someone else.
If you forgive him this time, then you're essentially telling him that it's okay for him to sleep around, as long as he gets drunk first. Is that the kind of message you want to send?
No, drunk sex doesn't validate anything. And the fact you were great friends for 3 years actually makes things worse. Maybe he's scared of the relationship and that's what happened. Whatever the case, I wouldn't take him back. But, it's your decision and since it's a new relationship and you've been friends it will be hard to just break up with him. If you do take him back, do it on a probationary basis( i know that sounds bad) but, this gives you the chance to decide what goes with this relationship. Because he will be working hard to get out of the dog house. and if he's not, then sooo not worth it!
I do give him credit for telling you. well, if you would have found out otherwise then no. but if it was something he could have kept from you forever, then you have to look at that fact too.
Good luck!
Hey, the fact that he was drunk is no excuse, don't say its ok b/c he was drunk otherwise next time he stuffs up he'll use the same excuse. It's easy for people to say get rid of him, but you need to sit down and ask youself how much you like this guy and whether you want to let him go? If you love him and still want to be with him then give him another chance, after all everyone deserves a second chance - right? Make sure he knows that he stuffed up and how much he hurt you. For the fact that he told you and didnt keep it a secret obviously means that he cares about you and was feeling really guilty otherwise he wouldnt have said anything. It will be hard for you to trust him now, but you need to try put it behind you and forgive him otherwise it will ruin your relationship. Just remeber you can forgive but don't forget :)
I hate to say it but I've been cheated on too. I know it hurts. My ex was my best friend for 5 years and we dated for 7 months during that time he cheated on me with 3 girls the first time it was that he called a girl and they went on date but he said it was just to talk, the next time he kissed a girl in front of me his excuse he did it on a bet, the 3rd time I went to his house and there was girl there half naked he walked out wearing pants but nothing else. so in my experience lies and distrust and cheating leads to more lies distrust and cheating. And you may love him and he may love you but you do not want to be with a man who 1 gets drunk and 2 has sex with another woman.
you r a wonderful person for at least giving him a chance.
Yes, I think that you should give him another try. He cheated, it's bad - but he didn't lie. Being drunk is no justification, if anything it makes it worse to know that he can't hold himself together. But, a friendship of 3 years is nothing to scoff at! Let him know that's he's on a tight leash so that he doesn't get upset if you get jealous or suspicious in the future (even if he is innocent). See how it goes; forgiveness is key to a serious relationship.
He shouldn't have let himself get into a situation to get drunk and have sex with another girl while he was dating you. Continue your friendship, but don't take him back immediately. If he earns your trust back, after a long period of time, go for a relationship again. But it might even turn out by that time that you will have both moved on.
Hope I helped!
P.S. Being drunk doesn't validate anything: sex, driving, or anything else!
I couldn't, if you did get back wit him all you would think about is that he had sex with another girl. Even if it was drunk sex, if you care about someone no matter how drunk you are you don't cheat on them! You deserve better, and you will find it, and he has to live with the mistake he mae for the rest of his life
Were you two a couple when he was with the other girl? If so I would never take him back. If you do, it will become the story of your life. You choose how others treat you, and if you stay with one cheater you will probably let others treat you the same way. In my personal opinion women are better off by themselves than with a guy that cheats. If you can't live without him why don't you give him an ultimatum - you two be friends again for a month, he doesn't sleep with other girls, then you may consider taking him back if he can prove himself worthy.
Lol Umm I'm not gay or anything just happend to my friend a couple times makes me wanna punch her in the face for saying that haha don't do it don't take him back he is just gonna end up hurtin you again and it could be worst this time :P Find someone else it's a big world with lots of people
you can always find someone better :] Hope i helped haha Have a great night
Um, first of all i am a guy so this might not be what your looking for, and also i know that this is hard, but yes, it does validate it. Break up with him, but tell him why so he knows that its time for him to change. Then if you see any change then there might be the chance that you could go out with him again.
If he did it after 3 years, then that's bad. But if he did it at the beginning of your relationship, and it hasn't happened since, then you might could work things out. If you do stay with him, I definatly wouldn't trust him to go out drinking anymore, and no I don't think that validates it at all.
Drunk? Even not drunk, yeah, I'd give it one more go, but any further infractions would be grounds for immediate and permanent termination of the relationship. People screw up. If he's really sorry then he's going to put in a lot of work to make things better. But third chances in a relationship? Hell no.
Yes. I would.
I believe everyone deserves another chance.
(How many chances is up to you)
This was a bad time
but are you going to sacrifice all of your good times because of it?
It's not worth it. What happened happened. What's done is done.
You should move on from it and accept that these kinds of things happen.
Forgiveness is the best gift.
Drunkiness is NO excuse; he should have not been drinking in the first place!
If you decide to get back together with him, you won't trust him as you would trust another boy that has done nothing as...bad and wrong as what he did.
Watch yourself, becuase if I were you, I'd leave him and fast! He'll might all over you next!
~ I hope this helps!
DUMP HIS *** a drunk guy still has a brain that works its been proven means brains can handle 3 times as much as his body can so he knew what he was doing it doesn't matter if y'all were friends for 3 years he cheated on you fair and square and he'll do it again if you give him the cance
depends on how much you love him and if YOU think its worth it
not if people on here think its worth it.
its all up to you
i know thats not what you want to hear but its the truth
we cant chose for you.
maybe give him a second chance and then if he does it again be done with him 100%?
my opinion but like i said before its all up to you.
it's about self respect... you can't respect yourself if you're in a relationship with a guy who doesn't respect you, and he wouldn't cheat on you if he respected you... no matter how drunk he was... i've been drunk... i've never cheated. it's no excuse... you can do way better, hun.
it depends. in you situation no! it depends though i probably wouldn"t take baK a guy if he cheated on me unless i loved him soooooooooo much i cudn't live without him. just like in the Twilight Series with Edward and Bella. only Edward didn't cheat on her. she just lives with a hole in her chest for a long time cuz he leaves her.
TAKE HIM BACK! its ok if he has drunk sex everyone does it! hey you should try it some time its pretty cool. getting drunk in the first place is pretty cool too! especialy if it starts to ruin your life then you could be an alcoholic but who rreally cares you kno?
hope i helped! :DD