I found out that my husband was opening profiles for sex dating sites in our area. He looks at porn abiut 20 times a day. The porn part is fine..i guess...but the fact hat he opened up a personal profile & put info about him and what he wanted in a woman for sex. Said married for a year & looking for a one time sex fling in my area. include your phone #.....it got in detail personally about him self. I want to leave him because of what hes done but hes leaving for a iraq fora year and i dont want to upset him while hes there because of the dangerous mission hes on. What should i do??
a cheater is a cheater is a cheater
I wouldn't be staying with anyone who is looking for a good time once, twice or whatever. It is wrong and not acceptable.
To deny and lie to you when you caught it, tells me he has probably deceived you before.
Whether he is going away or not, has no bearing here. He must take responsibility for his actions, you can't feel sorry for him. If he knows he can get away with this, what is next??
I am sorry, but it doesn't look promising here and I couldn't be with someone who is trying to deceive me and sleep around...
******* around behind your partner's back is a dangerous and dirty job. Obviously, that is what he likes it, so don't worry about his mission; worry about yourself. Why should you wait, faithfully, for a year for this lying cheat?
Go see a lawyer. You don't deserve this. Once a sneak, always a sneak. This has nothing to do with how well you keep yourself. It is all about his skewed values.
This may not be what you want to hear and it is probably contradictory to all of the self-sacrificing propaganda the military feeds it's wives, but they will not save you from getting a life-threatening STD. Actually, do you know that if you printed out what you found and brought it to his C.O. he would be screwed (and not in the way he had hoped)?
Adulters are actually thrown out of the military, whether they are the soldiers or their dependents. He may just get a warning since there is no proof he actually went through with it. See the lawyer, though, and not the C.O. You want him to have a source of income so he can pay child support and/or alimony. I'm not a big alimony advocate but in a case like this, where he has wasted your time, possibly your youth, with false sincerety, take everything you can get.
Call the JAG office and have them write up a legal separation. You will be provided housing, or money toward housing, etc. Get this taken care of before he goes over seas, since he will be expected to sign it. Bring a printed copy of his sex proposition when you go for your appointment.
I know this is very painful and I feel for you. I hope you will not waste anymore time where you are not appreciated. If you like military types, there are plenty of others, eager for wives...
If it were my husband I would probably file for divorce--or at least leave him for a while until he figures himself out.
What he has done is selfish and rude. I know you say he is leaving for Iraq--and you don't want to hurt him--but he is hurting you.
Porn is an addiction--its sound foolish but it is lust. When lusting you are having sexual actions with others in your mind. Which is wrong and hurtful. Disrespectful to you his partner.
If he is going so far to ask for phone numbers from singles in your area for sex-he is not respecting you. He does not deserve you.
Don't wait around for him to change or feel bad because he is enlisted and going over seas.Because you are the one hurting. He's not.
I'm sorry you are going through such an awful heartbreaking thing. I hope you can remedy the situation.
Guys always deny it it unless there's a tape recording or video of it. Give it up.
Is this the first time he's attempted to play on you or has he played on you before? If he's done it before, maybe you should get rid off him and cut your loses, but if not he might be feeling some kind of way about going to Iraq and it's just his way of acting out. If you want to work it out and have time before he leaves maybe you all could get some counseling. As far as upsetting him, what about him upsetting you? You have feelings too that are worth considering!
God Bless!
Leave him! Sounds like a POS!!!!!!
You should talk with him about this regardless of if he's going to Iraq or not. There's obviously a problem in your marriage: he's unhappy in some way (possibly with himself) and you are suffering for it. You should talk to him and insist that you both get martial counseling when he returns. I think it would be best to get the counseling first so that you both can find out the real reason for his actions before you consider leaving him.
Talk to him and tell him that you have proof that he is doing this. Tell him that you have seen the site. I am sure he will get made but at least he knows you are serious. Tell him that you don't know if you could be with someone that has this problem. Express that you are worried that he is going to cheat on you or have already done so. I think that this needs to be resolved before he leaves for Iraq or you will be the one who is going to be upset the whole time he is away. It is not fair to you if he wants out of the relationship and won't be honest with you. I wish you luck!
well he treats you like ****, and it's the classic female weakness. She wants to make him like her, so she tries everything but leaving him. Screw his mission. He'll be fine, you'll just feel like it's your fault if something should happen. But that's not true. Leave him. Face it, you gotta. Or wait, you're hoping one day that all of your groveling at his feet and doing everything he wants will make him open up his eyes and treat you like an equal. mmhm. yeah.