been dating him for almost 1 1/2 years. both in our last year of high school.
boyfriend wanted to meet up today. I was already in the city early in the morning studying (he knew this) and couldn't WAIT to see him (hadn't seen him for a week).
20 minutes before our date, he gets his FRIEND (who happens to be my friend as well) to text me saying he couldn't make it because he was sick. I asked if the friend was with my boyfriend and he said yes, they were both sick and at the friends house together. Called me and asked if we could hang out tomorrow. Said that i was busy (i'm not but i was quite angry at him and lost that excited feeling of wanting to see him the instant i got that text message). He said he would talk later. That call lasted about 30 seconds
I'm just thinking
1. It was quite inconsiderate to have TEXTED me that he couldn't make it. and even more disrespectful to get his friend to text me (he had no credit but still.)
2. He seemed perfectly fine the last time i talked to him (before he went to bed)
3. He seemed perfectly eager to go out tomorrow.
Plus i was angry because i had only brought 2 hrs worth of study material and had to go home instead of spending the whole day studying which could have happened if he had notified me EARLIER.
He has cancelled a few dates now at the last minute, or he has told me he wouldn't be going out with me (and my friends (mix of guys and girls that he knows quite well) but then has turned up a couple hours late with a friend which has made me think he didn't actually come to see me (but he acts like he does)
We've been talking about having sex recently and i know when we do (if we do now), i want to have NO doubts or insecurities about him or us. So now i'm not so sure. He's a good boyfriend otherwise.
Help? =/
actually, i think the problem is that he's just not consistent with his actions. just don't know why ?
and don't say he's probably cheating..i'll know if he is (thanks to my friends who have connections haha.)
Well it is hard based upon what we have to draw any real conclusions. He was inconsiderate to a degree. I am not sure I buy the sick story. If he really was sick, how did he know he's be up to seeing you the next day? I suspect he got what he considered a better offer to hang out with. He does seem to take you for granted - she doesn't mind - she's my girlfriend - I can always see her. After 18 months his level of commitment ought to be higher.
That said, you also seemed to have over - reacted a bit. Unless this is an ongoing pattern which I suspect it is. Guys can be stupid, they get the idea that once they have got you as a girl friend they can stop all the little loving attentions that won your heart to begin with.
You are suffering not from hurt as much as neglect. I think you need to have an honest conversation about your needs as a woman for his love and affection on an ongoing basis and see if he is up to the task or not. You need to know you are number one in his affections and desires. Right now you have doubts that his activities or his friends rack higher - at least sometimes.
Hold back on sex for the moment. Sexual union will make a bad relationship seem closer than it is and cloud your thinking. wait until things are good between you two. Sexual activity should reflect the same depth of the romance in all other areas of your relationship. If it does not, you will soon feel used, rather than fulfilled.