I am 27 years old man. I never dating with any woman as I am very shy. But I have very much sexual desire. So I was thinking about sex most of the time. Now I am heared that women do not like shy , unconfident guys. They prefer bad boys . This hurt me very much. I pass my most of the time about thinking about it . About 2 years ago , I was took psychotherapy from a lady psychotherapist to free from social anxiety. Now I am much free from social anxiety . But another problem ariases . I am thinking and fantasiging about the psychotherapist. I understood that I was fallen with her love. She is married & I know that it is unethical to do any relationship outside treatmen with her. I do not contact with her any more. But I can not forget her. Everyday every night I think about her. I also feel depresses thinking about the unsucseesfull of mine about women. These hurt me . I waste a lot of time thinking these which harm my everyday life , study etc. How can I stop this thinking ? help
I I believe the reason you think about your psychotherapist is because she is the one who offered you comfort when no one was there. She was the outlet you need. You think she can help you solve all your problems. You need to break this trend. You need to start undertaking you hobbies seriously. This will give you an activity to occupy you mind, which means you will be too busy to remember her.
Secondly start looking for friends. Visit places you are bound to make friends. Friends are a great comfort and they offer one tips and advice that can help you find that special gal. Remember most of us are shy, but we try to hide the flaw but pretending we are not.
Ihope this helps and incase you are looking for a buddy to talk to, you are welcomed.
Stop thinking about being unsuccessful. You are only unsuccessful TO NOW. That could change tomorrow. Maybe never, too, but is it more fun to think "never" or to think "maybe tomorrow"? Because 27 is young today, and "never" is probably wrong...maybe not tomorrow but maybe soon, too. Why not stop feeling bad about thinking about her? She is all you have...thinking about her does not HURT her...and if it makes you feel good, doesn't that HELP *you*? Let me explain something...it is VERY hard to stop having these thoughts and feelings...in fact, the only SURE way to stop thoughts and feelings about sex is to have thoughts and feelings about something even stronger than sex, meaning something that scares you to death, or makes you feel holy or immortal. I will also tell you this: your thoughts and feelings about her are not as strong as you think...just as strong as you ever knew. When you DO meet someone you love, those thoughts and feelings will feel HUNDREDS of times stronger and better. So really, compared to what love really feels like, what you feel for her is probably pretty superficial...and NORMAL too...any man who has been in your situation has almost certainly had sexual fantasies about his therapist. She might not like it, but you don't have to tell her...and if she is any good as a therapist at all, she MUST know that any male client like you will have these thoughts and feelings for her. So why not enjoy the little joy you have in your mind? If she cares for your happiness as a professional, then she should not mind. And if you canNOT enjoy it, and MUST stop these thoughts, remember how strong sex is in all men...it will take something very awesome or very dangerous to truly shut out those thoughts and feelings. And never forget...the older the woman, the less she likes the "bad boy"...you will sometimes feel like it will be "never" but "shy, unconfident" does better with women at 40 than at 20. In many men, the shyness helps to protect them too. The wrong woman can break your heart, making you feel TEN times worse than you feel now EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY...maybe for years! (I have lived through this...being a virgin was bad, having my heart broken made me want to DIE.) Shy can also be careful...careful to only fall in love with someone who can truly love you back. For the sensitive man, shyness is usually a friend to your happiness, even if it can be an enemy to your sex life. It is hard, I know, but try to be as happy as you can without being someone different from who you are, and I think you have a very good chance at being VERY happy for many years with the right person later...just sorry for you that it may be the "right person" you have not even met yet.