I've been dating this guy and we are in love. I'm 18 and he's 34. I know the age difference is a bit to take in at first, but this love is real. We met when I was 18, everything is legal. We've been through a lot in a short amount of time and he's proved to me he cares deeply and has helped me grow.
At first, the relationship was kept secret..my parents are conservative people and I knew they would disagree. I hated the constant lying to go out and see my boyfriend so I told them about it. We had long talks and I calmly went through my relationship with them to try to dismiss any concerns. I haven't changed as a person since meeting him, it hasn't affect my school or scholarships, it hasn't done any harm. A big concern to them is that I would become pregnant or drop out and he would take me away. I told them he cares about my education, he actually tries to keep me motivated and wants to see me do well. I also told them we both agree I should not be thinking about kids for a while..at least until I'm done with college. I told them I know I'm young and I need/want guidance from you both, but I'm mature enough to make some decisions. I wanted my parents to meet him and I know it wouldn't be an easy process, but at least try to get to know, meet him once. They did not agree.
So after that we decided to break up but we couldn't do that. We ended up seeing each other again and my parents found out. They were furious. They are convinced that the relationship is based just off sex and that he doesn't care for me at all. They are convinced I will become pregnant. They told me if I ever do, or come home with bad grades then I will be kicked out and that I can only go to school and back and nowhere else. They went as so far to say that they would love any child I have but if I ever have a child with him that child would not have grandparents. That really hurt..how can they hate someone so much when they don't know a thing about the person?
I know it gives a bad impression that we had to sneak around, but we tried to make things better and open and they still refuse.
This along with other stresses such as my aunt finding out she has breast cancer, losing my friends, gaining weight has made me do so poorly this semester. It's not HIM that made me do poorly, but the stress of choosing between the people I love the most in this world.
The college I go to now doesn't offer a nursing program which is what I want. Initially I came in thinking I would major in English or Psych and this school would be good for that, but I've changed my mind and am certain about nursing. There's a school close to where my boyfriend lives that offers a good nursing program and he said if I'm ever kicked out, if I can't live at home, if anything happens I am always welcome to live with him. If I go to that school I can't live at home because it's over a 1hr+ drive to there and another hour back. If I move in with him then I'm scared my relationship with my parents will be over and I don't want that. I don't want them to feel hurt and I don't want to leave my younger brother alone and thinking that the family is broken apart.
They are all hurt. My parents and my boyfriend. I hate it. I feel like I can only make one or the other happy. I've never been loose with the word love and I know he is the love of my life. We click on so many levels and I always feel happy and safe with him. But then of course family is so important to me and I'd never want to lose them either. I don't know what to do and feel on the verge of a break down.
duh your parents...
seriously only do what you want but you have to expect what might happen if you chosse your bf cos i choose my girlfriend over everyone and everything but she ended it with me
so just think is this realistic that you and him will be together for a LONG time if not then mabye family is the best answer but like i said its what you want more :)